My Boyfriend's Meds Movie Watch dual audio HD writed by Diego Kaplan

04 de febrero de 2020 - 15:45

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https://onwatchly.com/video-9775.html

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Mexico

Genre Comedy

Year 2020

Synopsis A woman's island getaway with her boyfriend is thrown for a loop when he forgets to take his prescription medications along

We have been together 7 years, we have a 3yr old son together. Im the beginning of our relationship we would fight often, he would get extremely drunk and there was violence. I got super depressed and stopped working or going to school because we would get into a bad cycle. We were living 2 hours away from our hometown for the first 4 years of our relationship. He has only worked maybe 5-20 hrs/week at minimum wage a total of 8 months the entire time weve been dating. His parents pay for everything for him, car/apartment/school (which he often drops his classes. I admit when we first moved together I paid 1/2 the rent to his parents (gave to him per his parents and then watched him blow it on worthless crap while I couldnt afford to feed myself) but I got really depressed and stopped working and didnt pay rent. When I found out I was pregnant I thought things would change, then one night while I was pregnant we got into a fight and he ended up pushing me into the closet where I fell. That was my breaking point and I told him if he ever laid another hand on me again I would call my dad and go home (my dad has repeatedly told me if he comes to his house and tries anything he will shoot. Anyways, we moved back to home city into an apartment so wed have help from his family and possibly my dad when our son was a couple months old. Shortly after moving back to home city, my grandmother had a stroke and I ended up having to take guardianship of my 1/2 sister or shed end up in the system. He knew that was a possibility since the beginning of our relationship, but once she moved in with us he absolutely hated her. Wed fight every damn day and my sister was basically locked in her room 24/7 except during school hours. It came down to choosing between him or her, I decided to move out into my own place. During that time he drank in excess daily, destroyed his apartment, and ended up multiple times into mental health facilities. It was bad, he blamed me because I took his son away. I always allowed him to have our son when he was stable but when he wasnt I didnt let him take him. About a year and a half later my roommate/ex best friend ended getting fired and had to move home, I couldnt afford the apartment alone. He seemed stable again at this point and I told him either Id move into a smaller/cheaper apartment or we could try again to live together. He said he wouldnt treat her bad again and he would be better. Since Ive moved back in with him, I pay 400/month to his mom for rent. He doesnt work or contribute anything. I purchase everything for the apartment and our son. Ive accepted that, and he says once hes done with school he will work and help. He takes 2 classes a semester, so idk when he will finish. He sleeps all day (3a-4/6p) and stays up smoking pot at night. Ive repeatedly asked him if he could get up even at 10-11a and he says he will set an alarm but never does or blames me getting up at 8a with our son so he doesnt get woken up. Now recently I graduated nursing school, my last day he woke up from a nap and just left to spend the evening with his friend without even saying congrats. He knew it was my last day and knew that my class wasnt having a graduation ceremony (theres one in May but by that point Ill be working as a nurse. It hurt when he just left without a word or asking me if I wanted to do something. Every time his friend calls his phone is answers it or calls back immediately, but I can call him and itll go to voicemail or he wont pick up. Every 2 weeks he goes out with his friend to the bar for 4-8 hours. He has never taken me out on a legit date, Ive told him Id like to do stuff just him and I. I bought concert tickets and set up someone to watch our son about 6-8 weeks ago as a date to let him get the idea. Id even be happy if he just took me out to dinner or a movie or the bar. I feel hurt. Also worth noting that I havent gotten over is in the 7 years weve been together, 3 times he has gone looking for a prostitute when he was manic but said all three time he didnt either have enough money or couldnt get hard because he felt bad. My trust level is nil. He is diagnosed with bipolar but wont take meds because he says they make him feel bad and that he doesnt believe in mental illness. I do love him but Im worried that nothing will ever change. He can be so sweet and he can be good with our son. And I am no perfect person, I get mad and say mean things I dont mean. I can get lazy with housework but always try to not let it go too long. I dont know what to do, please help. TL;DR- My boyfriend of 7 years sleeps 16 hours/day, doesnt contribute towards anything related to house or relationship, and puts more effort into his best friend than our relationship. Do I leave for the final time.

Watch My Boyfriend's Meds (2019) Full Movie Online Free, Putlockers bdhciy (2024) Image Description Watch HD Click Here. 01 sec ago - Wanna know. How to Watch My Boyfriend's Meds Online Free? 123-MOVIE]My Boyfriend's Meds! 2019) Full Movie Watch online free HQ [DvdRip-USA eng subs] My Boyfriend's Meds! 2019) Full Movie Watch online free 123 Movies Online! My Boyfriend's Meds (2019) Release Date: 2019-08-30 (min) Tagline: Genres: Production Companies: Production Countries: SYNOPSIS: A Woman's island getaway with her boyfriend is thrown for a loop when he forgets to take his prescription medications along. Publication Date Summer August 8, 2024 Citation Information dorzakulta Indre. "Watch My Boyfriend's Meds (2019) Full Movie Online Free, Putlockers bdhciy" 2024) Available at.

PLEASE NOTE. This post will be very long and probably confusing. English is not my native language, so there may be some grammatical errors. I intend to post elsewhere, so I would consider this post as multi themed. I will divide the text into parts for readability. I apologize for the excessive details, I believe that everything exposed here has some relevance. I beg you to read everything INTRODUCTION I: ANXIETY AND FIRST THOUGHTS Hello. I am an 18 year old man, currently in college. My life, from August 18th until now, has been a complete hell. In early 2019, I began to have anxiety attacks every time I went to the movies or went out with friends. These seizures made it impossible for me to eat and caused constant nausea and dizziness. When I started college in March, anxiety became random. Some days it happened before and during classes. In others, just before. However, I did not know that anxiety was until then the least of my problems. As I began my second semester enrollment in late July, I began to have depressing thoughts. These thoughts encouraged my death, mocked me. As someone radically opposed to suicide, that situation bothered me, but not enough to wreak havoc. Within a week, there were no more thoughts. The first week of August, I went to a urologist. I was worried about the angle of curvature of my penis, and how it would impact sex ( I'm a virgin, and never had a girlfriend. It may seem like irrelevant information, but it is not. INTRODUCTION II: THE PORN When I was 13, I discovered the concept of sex. Before that, I knew nothing about the workings of the sexual act. From this I discovered masturbation, eroticism and, of course, pornography. I masturbated and watched porn whenever and as long as I wanted without any worries. But as the years went by, I turned these two activities into relief valves for any kind of stress. I masturbated at least once a day. As for porn, I watched 1 or 2 hours. Between December 2018 and early 2019, I expanded pornography to approximately 4 hours. 2 hours in the late afternoon and 1 or 2 hours before bed. As for the porn categories, I started with light videos, until stopping at hentai and hardcore videos ( anal, gangbang, DP. I never watched gay porn. Since I was 13, I have ingested my own semen after masturbation. I started this habit because of a mixture of curiosity and laziness to clean. I don't see it from a homosexual perspective. In fact, ingesting semen for me has become a way of celebrating my pleasure and hence my body PART I: THE BEGINNING OF THE RUIN OF A MIND Back in August 2019. After the urologist, I began to worry about my likely porn addiction. I was afraid the videos would prevent me from having pleasure with a woman in real life, or cause Erectile Dysfunction / Early Ejaculation. I decided to limit porn and masturbation to twice a week, with a maximum of one hour in each of these sessions. I was able to respect this self imposed rule. But on August 18, everything changed. At night, two hours after watching porn, I was watching the movie Alien: Covenant, and seeing Michael Fassbender, I immediately remembered the movie Shame. At that moment, bizarre thoughts invaded my mind. Compliments of sexual connotation, comments about the actor's appearance and penis, images of myself fucking him. Obviously, I was terrified. I have never in my life thought such things. Even surprised, I associated such thoughts with the suicidal incentives of early July and thought, Fuck. This is going to end. I was wrong. The next morning that shit went on. Every man I saw stirred these same thoughts, even my father. There was a distortion in my feelings, thoughts and perceptions. In a way, I saw every man as handsome, simply because he was a man. In just two days in that nightmare prototype, I thought something risky: Well, I like women, but these thoughts want to impose an attraction on men. If I bring the two together, I can neutralize that shit. Then I fantasized about myself having relationships with hermaphrodite beings - something like futanari. I had fantasized about such things before, but only once in 2016. Also, such a fantasy could be controlled. I watched some pegging videos, watched hentais about dickgirl on male and, even finding it bizarre, felt pleasure. That was not enough to stop gay thoughts. So every day boiled down to an infinite mental debate. On August 29th, in one of these innumerable internal discussions, I thought, In all my sexual fantasies, I always projected myself on man. At that moment, a damn thought came up: No, you projected on the woman. You want to be a woman. You should cut your penis. So from that day, besides the gay mind filter, there was a trans mind filter. Looking at me in the mirror came the image of a woman, looking at my penis, the image of a vagina. When I came across pronouns, thoughts changed their gender automatically. Seeing a couple, I couldn't tell if I thought the girl was pretty or envious of her. In September, tired of those thoughts, I returned to my psychologist. I have been consulting with him since 2015, but he has known me since I was 9 or 10 years old. He said I was a straight man, but that wasn't enough to reassure me. Between September and October, other bizarre thoughts arose. After reading about Capgras syndrome, I began to fear the possibility that it was real. I feared the world was a simulation (like the Matrix. I was afraid of being betrayed by my future girlfriend, or of being a cuckold. I didn't believe 100% in the thoughts, just feared the possibility. PART II: IDENTITY CRISIS AND THE INTERNET FUCKING MY HEAD As I said before, my psychologist could not fully help me. So I decided, stupidly, to turn to the internet. I saw dozens of texts and posts about HOCD and TOCD. At first it helped me, but over time my mental state got worse. I read trans testimonials saying they thought they were cis until 18, or late onset gender dysphoria. Reading that, my head exploded. How to prove that I wasn't really feeling dysphoria? From then on, I lost hope. I felt in denial, even though I had never idealized myself as a woman in 18 years of life. That sense of certainty was unreachable for me. I read that shit until November, when the frequency goes down. In October, I watched the movie Joker. Honestly, Arthur Fleck saved my life. Seeing a guy at rock bottom become happy gave me a little hope. Interestingly, I didn't feel any anxiety during the movie. In fact, I had not been anxious since September. Probably because I was debating like crazy 24h. Needless to say, my happy days were few. In 5 months of this hell, I can count only 1 month of joy. This month consists of several weeks spread out. Two in October, one in November, one in December. Even at these breaks, the symptoms did not fully subside. PART III: MEDICATIONS AND THE ROCK BOTTOM Since October, I have had blood tests and a psychiatrist. Examinations pointed to a lack of vitamin D, probably because of my sedentary behavior. On November 15, I started taking meds. Paroxetine. Side effects were complicated at first. I started with a small dose of 12, 5 milligrams. When I say complicated, I mean COMPLICATED. I felt like a zombie, I didn't want to get out of bed, I missed college all week. This state lasted about one to two weeks. In the end, the medication did no shit against the thoughts. It just made me calmer and to some extent functional. In fact, even crying almost every day, and wanting to drop out of college, I was able to get high marks in all subjects this semester. Great irony, no? In my opinion, the worst part of all this is WAITING. In August I was just an unhappy guy with gay thoughts, today I have no idea what I am. I talk 40 minutes with my psychologist every week, not counting discussions with my parents. In the early months, they understood. Today they seem to be tired of me. As for my psychologist, I feel his good intentions, but I see no progress. At the same time, I don't want to change professionals because I value the experience of my current psychologist. CONCLUSION: WHO AM I. In the past. I was a confident guy. I wanted to live alone after finishing college. I dreamed of having a girlfriend. With luck, I'd marry her and we'd have a daughter. I prefer a daughter because I wanted to play the role of protector. Today my identity is in pieces. When I look in the mirror, I see someone else. My name sounds weird, just like the pronouns. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a pilot of someone else's body even though I know it's my body. I never had problems with my penis or my body hair - I even grew a big beard in 2016. Now I'm afraid every time I look at them. I don't feel authentic about anything I do. Honestly, I never cared about gender. I was not a boy or girl. I WAS ME. A male individual. In fact, I had some feminine traits, but I saw such judgment as a stereotype. I cross my legs, I am very emotional and synesthetic regarding love / sexual issues. I wear long clothes that show little of my body. In this respect, I identified a lot again with Arthur Fleck. I like to dance alone and often have daydreams about my future girlfriend. At the same time, when I talk about things beyond love, I feel like a man. In discussions, I see everything from a strictly rational standpoint, I consider myself competitive and cold in certain respects. The only time of the day I have peace is when I sleep. When I wake up, I feel good for a few seconds, until all hell begins again. Interestingly, I had dreams in which, as a man, I had sex with a woman. In my dreams thoughts had no power at all. Bathing has been a terrifying experience, because I can't tell if I like my body or not. During the day I feel my penis all the time and I have anxiety. The only time I feel good about my penis is when I masturbate and yet there is insecurity. If I didn't have friends, computer games, or family or medical support, I'd probably be dead already. There is not a day when I don't think about suicide. I have tried to stop pornography, but I never quite get it. I've stopped watching videos for 1 month, but still saw erotic images or masturbated. I believe I developed an attraction to the penis, not necessarily to the men themselves. When I watch a video, I feel a sensation in my throat. Never felt this way before. I am afraid that when performing oral sex on a woman, I want a penis. I fear losing my sexual attraction to girls. Even though I've never wanted the transition, I feel like a liar every time I think about it. I have no confidence in my memories and thoughts. My dreams at times seem distant. My only desire is to have peace, to feel like a straight man again, to make sure that I love my own body, to make sure that I love and desire women without ever envying their appearance. I imagine hugging my girlfriend and listening to her say she loves me, I imagine us having sex for love, not just for sexual pleasure. I imagine taking my daughter to school, watching her graduate, haunting her boyfriend's dreams. I am an unhappy being who has lost her identity, wants her back, and needs help.

Ugh, where to start. She basically criticizes literally every single thing I do or have an opinion about. Even trivial things, like saying I want to go to the movies she will critique or when I wanted to cut my hair today. I wanted to see my boyfriends new place today but she says Im a man chaser, because I “already saw him for 2 weeks” when I was on holiday with him, so why do I have to see him today. She listened to me on the phone the other day and afterwards came in the room and very snidely said I sound fake (I was totally being myself on the phone call and was joking and very happy. When I go out on dates she gets grumpy and bitchy, when I go to parties or see my friends she is the same. She always wants me to stay home but why would I when its so unpleasant with her? Im so scared to do anything because I always get backlash. I think shes so disappointed in who I am, although I think I turned out very well. Im intelligent, have a job, and am very kind hearted, but I cannot remember when the last time was that she said anything remotely positive about me. When I want to dress up and feel pretty, she calls me shallow and says I just want to show off. When I was single and went on a few dates she said I was desperate and slut-shamed me (even though Im still a virgin and waiting for marriage. When I used to date she said she is so disappointed how I chase after guys (I dont think I did, I think its very normal to go on dates and get to know people. She is very traditional and uses Bible verses to also shame me. I am a Christian as well, and I love God but I think she represents religion very badly. For example if I go visit my boyfriend she will message me while Im there to say please not to do anything physically and to remember that “God is watching”. She once found out my boyfriend stayed over at my flat because it was late to drive back from a party and she completely lost it. She literally sent about 20 messages with Bible verses. When I was dating a guy in university after Valentines Day she refused to hug me because she assumed we had sex (we most definitely did not. She said she was disgusted so she didnt want to touch me. Doesnt matter how many times I tell her Im not having sex. She is also terrified of me getting pregnant. I dont think I deserve this treatment. When I left their traditional church to go to a more modern one, she accused me of joining a cult and said I am destroying the family. I didnt budge because I did it for myself and my growth but she completely wrecked me during that time. She was so horrible and I am still hurting from it. We are German living in South Africa. The community is very traditional and it is expected that you grow up in the Lutheran German church and also marry a German. I am not as close minded as my family and have never dated a German guy before. I know that if I dated a German guy from the community that she would be overjoyed. I have such anxiety when I am at home (I dont live with them, Im just visiting, I live in another city. My mother does not love me unconditionally. Im not the perfect traditional German girl that she wanted. Too bad. Im me and I dont think Im that bad. Sometimes I even wonder if she loves me but deep down I know she does, but she just treats me like garbage. I keep hoping our relationship will improve and Ive been upfront how she treats me and talks to me hurts me, but she brushes it off and says I overreact. I want to give up but I keep on hoping. She is also very manipulative and she is always the victim in her mind. I dont know when she became like this. Shes always been overbearing and too strict but she never used to be so mean to me until later. When I was a child I was mentally and emotionally and sometimes physically abused by my brother (whole other story) and she tried to protect me somewhat, but somewhere along the line she just also started becoming just as bad. What did I do to deserve a family like this? Only my dad is nice to me. He deserves a better wife and family as well. I envy people that grew up in a loving supportive environment. I cant imagine how different I would have been. I have really bad anxiety and am medicated for depression. When I told her Im taking meds, she also scolded me and said I dont need it and that its just a crutch and an addiction. I told her its better taking meds than wanting to kill yourself but she also brushed it off. Joke would be on her if I actually did it. How do I handle the emotional abuse? I have such deep pain in me. She is part of my life and I dont really want to cut her off. Not yet anyway.

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Thanks! Share it with your friends! You disliked this video. Thanks for the feedback! Las Pildoras De Mi Novio - My Boyfriend's Meds movie trailer HD - Plot synopsis: Jaime Camil and Sandra Echeverria star in the over the top hilarious new comedy LAS PÍLDORAS DE MI NOVIO (My Boyfriends Meds. Jess (Sandra Echeverria) is a talented, high-powered marketing executive at an upscale tequila company who falls for Hank (Jaime Camil) a charismatic mattress store owner she meets while shopping for a new bed. Hanks charm and good looks convince Jess he is “Mr. Right, ” but Hank hasnt been completely open with Jess- Hank suffers from a variety of issues for which he takes an endless assortment of medications. On the night Hank decides to reveal his issues to Jess, she surprises him with an invite to accompany her on a work retreat to a remote island resort. Surprised by the suddenness of this next step in their relationship, he decides to keep his secret a little longer. When the new couple arrives to the island, Hank is horrified to discover that he left his meds behind and is no longer able hide his various symptoms. What is supposed to be a tropical “business and pleasure” trip begins to spiral out of control, and Hank goes from a handsome charmer to an erratic loudmouth- at the cost of Jess not only losing out an overdue promotion, but her job! Jess and Hank face the ultimate couples test- learning what it means to be madly in love. Director Diego Kaplan Writers Randi Mayem Singer & Gary Marks Actors Jaime Camil, Sandra Echeverría, Brian Baumgartner, Ana Belena, Daniel Tovar, Kevin Holt, James Maslow, Juan Soler, Brooke Shields, Jason Alexander Genre Comedy Category Movie Trailer Tags Las Pildoras De Mi Novio, My Boyfriends Meds movie, movie, trailer, film, Jaime Camil, Sandra Echeverría, Brian Baumgartner, Ana Belena, Daniel Tovar, Kevin Holt, James Maslow, Juan Soler, Brooke Post your comment Sorry, only registered users can create playlists. Sign in to repost a Post.

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Hello, throw away account user here as my SO uses reddit. If any of this looks familiar from another sub ( r/JUSTNOMIL) its because Ive posted in there from a different user, but currently cannot gain access to that throwaway. I also apologize for any weird wording or potential trailing as Im trying to tend to my 3 month old as needs arise Moving on- my SOs family simply put is a shit show. He (25m) is the baby of the family, with SIL1 (31f) being the middle child, and SIL2 (38f) being the oldest. The best place I know to start with my grievances would be the beginning. My SO and I met while he was active duty military, and within a few months of dating he deployed and requested I stop by and check in on his mom (MIL) once a week and keep her company. I for the first two months was unable to as she was setting up for SIL1 and her two kids (not even 1 and 4) to come live with her in a 1 bedroom duplex, so I started to come by after SIL1 and the kids had settled in which was the start of a lot of bull shit. Since my SO was deployed i got to speak to him maybe 10 times over his 6-7 month long deployment so I lived for when he could call even if it was 15 minutes in a month. Most of those calls I spent explaining how his family was using him, rather than being able to catch him up on what I had going on or seeing what he did, and it also made me feel trapped into visiting them so I could keep an eye on their antics. One of those antics was them trying to get money out of him. None of his family is well off, his sisters both have a past with addiction along with his mother (he went into foster care around 9-11 as result) and SIL1 lost custody of her first two kids (she was a teen mom at 14 and 15) a while after that for same thing. Anyways, while Id be over visiting SIL1 and MIL they would talk about ways to get SO to give them money. Slight back story: Im no stranger to this as before my SO deployed SIL1 called while he was home for Christmas, it should be noted she never talked to him unless she needed something plus she lived states away. She asked him for money so she could “get her kids winter clothes”, and when he said he couldnt help she flipped out on him and hung up not to speak to him for months. We got a tiny idea of SIL1 now? Okay cool, back to her and MIL- they would trade their food stamps with people so they could get money for weed, or theyd trade it flat out for weed. Well they ran out of weed, so the genius idea was next time theyre able to talk to SO, theyll just ask him to send oh, idk, a measly 200, for “meds” for MIL and for some clothes for the kids. God forbid SIL1 actually get a job and god forbid MIL make her get one. So I over hear the plot and have to spend the few minutes I got maybe once a month to speak with my SO about why he shouldnt send the money as they lied etc. thankfully he never did but who lies like that? Anywho, SIL1 is surprisingly not a good mom /s. Every time I stopped over shed have her few month old son in her lap while she would smoke weed and cigarettes, Im not bashing her for doing those things, but dont do them with your BABY IN YOUR ARMS. She had a major freak out once when the baby was playing with his sisters princess dress, he liked chewing on it so his sister put it on him cause why not, and SIL1 and MIL both lost it “NO SON OF MINE FINNA BE A ”, yet she was okay with her son taking over his dads “family business” (nephews dad ran a gang and was in jail by the time he was 2 months old) but not having a dress put on him so he could shove the lace bit in his mouth. Makes 100, 000% logical sense right? Besides that shed post pictures and statuses regarding her smoking pot, or taking pills. She even posted photos of her daughter at about a year old holding a loaded bb gun, and also posted a pic where she used eyeliner and drew on her such things as “free they aint do nothin”, tear drops by her eyes, “thug life”, and gang names. When SO finally got back from deployment he came home for Christmas where MIL made it his job to have a come to jesus talk with SIL2 about drugs (which at the time she was clean. Because hes the man in the family that somehow makes his older sisters and their kids (SIL1 has 4 kids but custody of 2, SIL2 has 3 kids and at this point of the story had custody of them) his responsibility to handle rather than letting them as adults figure their own shit out. She also requested he give both sisters 100 each for Christmas along with an additional 100 for the kids. So 200 to each sister. He did end up doing that for SIL2, but only because she was working and taking care of her kids and again- clean. SIL1 got 100, simply so MIL would shut up about it. Besides that SIL1 ruined a surprise date I had set up for his last day of leave by making him babysit her kids so she could go prostitute herself (no joke, she talks about it to the point she claimed she shacked up with Bill Gates, which I dont think hed want a toothless white girl who claimed to be asian. This for me was the straw that broke the camels back. I ended up going on an hour long tirade to my SO about it which is when he really truly came out of the FOG about them. His mom acts like hes the GC when hes just the scapegoat. She treats him like the GC because he would always bend the knee but if he simply couldnt he would be begged to anyways and blamed when he couldnt provide for his sisters even though its their job to care for themselves and their off spring. Anyways fast forward a year or two, SO is out of the military, he and I are living with MIL, mostly to keep company and help out. At this point I too was still in the FOG about her and was just trying to help out how I could. Even though I was on birth control I wound up pregnant, when we told her she immediately said “congrats! I hope you guys dont do that gender neutral crap”, then went on to go immediately post it on bookface within seconds of us exiting the room. We saw, told her to take it down which she cried over because SO was mad she posted it when we told her we werent telling anyone yet. Anyways, that ended in a loss, which she found a way to make it about herself “its my fault you lost the baby! You did my makeup that day! ”, like sorry to burst your bubble but me applying mascara on you and touching makeup didnt cause me to lose the baby. This was right before my 21st birthday and Christmas so it was just super rough. So on to February, Valentines Day is coming up, shes been watching SIL1s kids a lot which emotionally was hard on me from the loss, all we requested from her was letting us off of helping watch the kids on Valentines Day so we could watch a movie as we were broke and couldnt do anything since we bought groceries for her a few days prior. MIL ended up having us not only watch SIL1s kids, but gave her 100 the day before Valentines Day so she could go buy herself a new outfit and gift for her FWB, and then gave her another 100 day of so she could take him out to dinner. MIL would never give us money like that, living or not living with her. She and SIL1 weeks later would get into a fight over 30 resulting in SIL1 saying MIL couldnt see the kids, calling her a crackhead (shes been clean from hard drugs since SO was taken by CPS, only weed and her prescriptions which she sold some of for extra. and telling MIL shed have her held down while SIL1 killed MILs dog and then kill MIL after. They were cool about 2 weeks later. MIL casually mentioned how she was going to break into SIL1s apartment, graffiti the wall to say “you killed your mother” and then kill herself in SIL1s bathroom. This was because of the ban on her seeing the grandkids, but hey, not like she has 3 OTHER GRAND KIDS AND TWO OTHER KIDS, but go off sis. So fast forward a year, still living and helping MIL out, SIL1 has skipped town because she smashed the windshield of her FWB (the one she saw during Valentines Day) and then their uncle came and smashed her apartments window. SIL2 has just been doing SIL2. MIL springs on us that we have about two weeks to find somewhere to live as shes going to move to the opposite end of the USA to stay and help SIL1, so with minimal time to prepare we moved to my parents where we still reside as, surprise, birth control failed again and a month after moving we found out I was pregnant which resulted in the 3 month old I mentioned in the beginning. While MIL was with SIL1 the following happened. •SIL barely worked and only got nice apartments that she couldnt afford, making herself, MIL, and the kids move 3 times in a 6 month period. •MIL lost her benefits as she moved during government shutdown and was on SSI and Medicaid. They would not renew her pain script while she was there •SIL1 would leave for days on end to go party and leave MIL with a 3 and 7 year old whom she couldnt care for as the meds she did get to keep put her to sleep- the kids took a bath by themselves unsupervised and she didnt even know. Thats especially dangerous since the 3 year old is epileptic, and if something happened MIL was physically incapable of lifting more than 15lbs •Just about all of MILs worldly items were stolen because SIL1 got them evicted and didnt leave in time before their stuff just got tossed outside As result of that last bullet point MIL came up here under the guise of a visit until SIL1 found them a place to live. Well as I predicted her “visit” has so far been permanent, not only that but shes been living with SIL2s ex boyfriend from years ago (not creepy or weird at all) because she just loves him and how in love he is still with her daughter. Speaking of SIL2, about 3 weeks before my child was born, she ended up in the hospital missing part of her skull due to swelling and bleed in her brain. Most likely contributed to by years of using. This caused MIL to lose it emotionally, and of course my SO was upset as well because he actually likes SIL2. We were up there visiting SIL2 daily, whether she was in a coma or awake, crack of dawn or late at night, until the day I went into labor. Since SIL2 was in different ICUs we were advised not to go visit since we had a newborn and didnt need to be bringing anything nasty home to him, and weve visited maybe twice since hes been born because of that and frankly its hectic being a first time parent. We tried to see MIL along with SIL2 on thanksgiving as MIL hadnt seen LO since he was born a month prior, but she has work and never told us until the day after. We tried to see her on Christmas- called, texted, smoke signals, and snow balls with messages in the middle were tossed to her and none were responded to so we gave up and didnt even bother for new year. She contacted SO a few days after telling him shes done with him because we didnt see her during Christmas and she had gifts for LO, she was hurt he wasnt seeing SIL2 as often. SO explains we have a newborn, thats his priority and that we did try to contact her, we know she knew we did as it told us she saw and received all methods, but she was the one to ignore us. She tried to back track with “Im sorry Im just so stressed about SIL2s situation and I thought you would be there for her and me more (MIL is SIL2s medical guardian as shes single and MIL is next of kin. Im just very tired, I dont need to deal with her much but when I do I just get upset. Im especially upset and its been weighing on me heavy lately because my baby and me are who my SO should be caring for. We gave up work for the last few weeks of my pregnancy which is of course when we needed to save up money most (thankfully I had been my whole pregnancy but still that last bit goes a long way. Unlike with his sisters, MIL hasnt offered to help us in anyway with LO, not that wed take her up on a babysitting offer, but even with getting wipes. Im frustrated for my SO and my LO. We dont bring LO to see MIL at SIL2s ex boyfriends place because its a known apartment building thats 90% drug dealers and begging to be raided daily, they smoke both weed and cigs in the apartment which frankly I dont care what they do but Im not bringing my baby into that. The only place we could meet would be public but money is tight so we cant afford to go to eat out with her, and my kid is still a bit fussy at times. Scarce, short, and supervised visits Im fine with (I know even thats crazy but it is what it is) but Ive been super angry about her outburst a week ago and needed to just throw it all out there. Surprisingly this is probably the most I can condense all of whats happened and theres still other things fully not mentioned or touched on. VVVVVVVVVVVVLC is already enforced but what would you guys be doing? I will say NC is not possible currently but its a work in progress.

Minun poikayst c3 a4v c3 a4ni l c3 a4 c3 a4kitys movie watch test. Hi all. I've lurked on this sub for months reading everyone's tonsillectomy stories and finally had it done myself. I'm 28F and had 24/7 throat pain for around 3-4 years, my tonsils were filled with stones, and my doctor said they were very scarred and inflamed when taking them out. Honestly the whole process so far was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, sure there were some really intense pain moments, like an 8/10 until I hand signalled to my boyfriend that it was time for more oxycodone. But overall I'm almost back to normal by day 11 (today. So here we go: Day 1 - 4: Pretty low over all pain scale I'd say a 2-3/10 just baseline. HOWEVER when I swallowed it was crazy intense and shot up suddenly to an 8/10. My doctor prescribed me liquid oxycodone for the first 7 days or so. So I was taking it like clockwork every 4-6 hours. I think my ears really started to hurt around day 3 and was just a dull ache til probably day 8. I was writing everything down instead of talking as well. Or at least not trying to talk very much. Day 5 - 8: the pain stayed about the same and swallowing was still the devil. What really bothered me now was how thick the back of my throat felt and how bad my mouth started to taste and smell. I definitely panicked a few times bc my throat felt so closed in on, but realistically I was fine and could still breathe normally. I let my boyfriend know that I was panicked and just had to breathe it out. I noticed almost immediately the first day my breathing was clearer and better as well. Oh also, nausea was a big factor. I was very nauseous through a lot of these days and having nausea medication helped. On day 8 specifically is where I fucked up twice lol. My boyfriend offered me pineapple orange juice, and I was like ooo sure. First 3 swallows were really nice and cold, then all of the sudden SEARING PAIN. Like I almost blacked out kind of pain, saw stars the whole nine. I think I took some liquid tylenol and held my head in my hands with an ice pack on my throat for an hour. Moral of the story, don't drink any acidic drinks even on day eight. My doctor didn't warn me about this at all, but you best believe now I know and I'm here to warn you lovely folk. Then, a few hours later, for some god forsaken reason, I got ballsy and decided to try some sliced eggplant cooked in our beloved air fryer. Some of the skin on the side must have been sharp and felt like someone took a katana to the scabs at the back of my throat. The eggplant betrayed me on this day. And I'm still sad about it. Again searing sharp pain and crying. Day 9 - 11: these days were and are a breeze in comparison. Mild throat pain like 3/10 similar to how I felt before surgery constantly. Swallowing doesn't hurt anymore. I'm still exhausted and my stamina is low, but I'm eating almost back to normal, save like a giant sandwich (which I really want. My mouth still sort of smells, but it's getting better. My scabs are very thin and still moist (I'm sorry) but no huge chunks or slugs have gone down my throat at all. Overall, no scary blood clots or bleeding at all, no throwing up, no er trips, no throat scab slugs, some bad pain and ridiculous discomfort, but it passed and I got through it. Tips and tricks VERY IMPORTANT: Get a humidifier, this thing probably saved me a lot of trouble. I think it kept the scabs moist (gross) but they're a lot safer to manage like that. Keep it going the whole dang time. Cepacol sore throat cough drops. These things also kept me from crying myself to sleep. They numbed enough so that when I accidentally swallowed it wasn't as bad. I used two 16 count packs of them throughout this time. A big gel ice pack. I would wrap this around my neck and pass out with it. It calmed the swelling down and was super comforting. No acidic drinks for the love of god! Or eggplant for that matter. I guess just be super mindful about what you're eating even on day 8. Give in to the pain meds they give you and take them like clockwork, then switch to something safer like liquid tylenol. Watch the entire marvel series from start to finish. Just kidding. But really I watched like 8 of those movies in order and it helped me to not go insane. Felt good to clear out some movie backlog. Cold food really did help me, italian ices are amazing and were my favorite to deal with. Nausea medication! I think it was a combination of a lot of pain medication, not eating solids, a ton of sugary cold food, and misery. Get a bunch of boxes of tissues with lotion. For some reason I was very sneezy and had a runny nose and even to just wipe the crap off my tongue, they didn't leave my side. Also, unfortunately I don't have any advice for how bad my mouth smells. I tried a tongue scraper, mouthwash (not on tonsils tho) cough drops. Just know it slowly goes away. AND no reported voice changes other than being kind of normal sore throat raspy, and my bf said he liked that; There you have it, that was long sorry so here's a tldr. Edit: no promo just straight honesty. "Foo the Flowerhorn" on youtube was very calming and just really beautiful. He loves his fish and treats life with respect and watching his videos really helped me mentally through this whole thing. TLDR: the whole process wasn't as bad as it could have been. Mild pain baseline and swallowing made the pain shoot up to 8/10. Tight gross throat and nausea but already feeling so much better by day 9. Get a humidifier, cepacol sore throat cough drops, a huge gel ice pack, tissues, and pick a ton of movies. And for the love of god don't drink acidic drinks.

Minun poikaystäväni lääkitys movie watch online. Minun poikaystäväni lääkitys movie watch full. Minun poikaystÃvÃni lÃÃkitys Movie watch video. Minun poikayst c3 a4v c3 a4ni l c3 a4 c3 a4kitys movie watch form. Minun poikaystÃvÃni lÃÃkitys Movie watch online. An open letter to those that do not understand but want to try. This is an attempt to give an in depth account of my experience with bipolar so that other people that want to know can read it and have a better understanding of what goes on in the inner mind of just one case. My sum of the experience is as follows. Its no ones fault... not even mine. Im am mentally ill. BIPOLAR 1. I have a disease that affects my brain. Its cause is unknown and its cure doesnt exist. Even management with medication is a total crapshoot. And even if I found the right stuff it only works for a little while until it doesnt, then the search for the new “right” mix begins all over again and none of treatments CURE it. So no matter what, Medicated or not. The above statement may not be medically true, but its been my experience so far since I havent found the right mix yet. Im not operating with the mental faculties required to maintain any sense of self preservation. Either Im so low I forgot to breath or Im so high I thought I could fly but gravity prevailed. Learn about bipolar disorder yourself and when you speak of it be educated on the subject and dont use the word loosely. Its not a mindset that simple willpower or mind-over-matter tactics could solve. Its a defect in the brain. Its a disease that is taken SO lightly and the term is used SO frequently to describe the weather or a seemingly unreasonably grumpy person. that the meaning of the word and the reality of living with it, and the gravity of the situation gets lost in the misinformation and inappropriate use of the word. Its not an adjective. Its a mental disorder. Just because it was gorgeous day up until the rain came down outta nowhere doesnt mean that the weather is being bipolar. Just because someone bitched at you about something doesnt mean they are being bipolar. I could come up with a lot more examples but you get the point... Its these misconceptions and stigmas that leave us out here in the wind blowing wherever it goes. These misconceptions paint a picture to those that dont have bipolar that the word is a punchline for use in trivial situations and that misconception is extremely misleading. Most people simply think bipolar looks like a person that was happy and suddenly isnt... or someone that flies off the handle for no reason. A woman on her period is most often the recipient of being called bipolar since the word is used so loosely and the definition of it is so misunderstood that it puts a wall up between the misconception of it and the reality of it. The reality of it? I could write a book. But. The reality of it. now keep in mind Im only talking about my own personal experiences with bipolar and since everyone has their own experience and level of understanding... just know that what you read here. this is my own deal. It might have similarities to others with bipolar but It is not to be interpreted to apply to EVERYONE that has bipolar. Also, understand that my own understanding is limited so what you read here is not a medical thesis that can be applied to all areas. This just my take on it and I could very well be wrong. Only those afflicted will ever know what it is like. Each person has their own special brand of it too like snowflakes with there being no two alike. So you have general society with zero understanding. Psychiatrists and psychologists with maybe 20% of a clue. Then there are the people that are bipolar trying to put the pieces of their insanity together with a broken mind in order to figure out their own brand of it and what to do about it. The search for what to do about it seems never ending. There are those that have found their right mix somewhere over the rainbow which leaves me hopeful. Each of the medications have horrible side effects that may or may not go away. Each medication change is met with these challenges and medicating can be just as bad and deadly as the disease itself because even if the meds dont have a certain side effect that could specifically cause death (like a deadly rash etc... I know! Its insane that this could be a side effect! But, one of my medication attempts had this possible side effect. They all have the potential to cause suicidal thoughts as a side effect if its not the right med for the person. Remember... the search for the right meds seem endless. General public thinks that if a person would JUST take the meds then all would be well and then they blame the person if all is not well by assuming they havent been taking their meds properly. This places the blame on the patient for the failure to control the disease. Literally. Ive seen alcoholics and drug addicts met with more compassion and forgiveness for their wrong doings because they were intoxicated or under the influence at the time of the offense. Probably because its easier to see and understand. A person did a messed up thing after visibly ingesting a drink or substance that caused them to temporarily misbehave. its easy to see the cause and separate the person from the intoxicated behavior of said person. Bipolar people dont have that advantage. Its not easy to see so its not easy to understand so it is easy to just blame the person for the effects the disease has on them and hold them accountable the same way you would hold someone in their right mind accountable for their wrong-doings. The plea of insanity has a place in the courtroom for a good reason but outside the courtroom it seems to hold no value. Being someone that hasnt found the right mix of medication even once I have had it explained to me that proper medication mix would result in a lower high and a higher low. Not to where it would bring it into the perimeters of a person that is not bipolar but to where it cushions the high and low. Laymans terms: a bipolar range of emotion compared to a normal range of emotion. If a “normal” range of an average persons emotion looked like this with “1” representing the lowest mood possible and “2” representing the highest mood possible. The following example shows my understanding of what proper medication might look like: Normal: 1—-2 Bipolar: 1———————————2 Medicated: 1————————2 The difference being that someone without bipolar would experience the opposite ends of the spectrum if something were to be happening in their lives that cause the emotion. A loved one dying... holding your newborn baby for the first time... etc. For a person with bipolar the opposite ends of the spectrum will happen regardless of outside influences, while at the same time can be triggered by outside influences. Even with proper medication the perimeters are still not necessarily great. The above is my general consensus. Im going to now approach the concept of trying to actually explain my own experience with this disease. I always knew that something was “off”. I was “different”. I chalked it up to childhood traumas and hard adjustments to life. My first diagnosis of bipolar came about during a psychotic break caused by mania. Even then I dismissed the diagnosis because I thought the cause of the break was due to lack of eating and sleeping due to a bad tooth infection. My white blood count was a hair south of fatal. Also, my understanding of the disease was like most people. It couldnt apply to me! Im not just grumpy all the time or exceptionally bitchy so, NO! Not me! Im not bipolar! Little did I know. it would take another 10 years and several more cycles with increasing intensity to see the truth of it. I was 29 at the time of diagnosis and 38 by the time I took a serious look at it. The situation had become undeniable. Im 39 now so its only been a year of retrospect and research and psychiatric care so far. Which is why I say that nobody out there should take anything I write here to be medical information. Im not qualified to provide that AT ALL! This is just my ramblings on the subject. I cant say much about the childhood aspect of it as theres no way for me to differentiate what of it was circumstance and what of it was the markers of this disease. When I moved back home with my mom after being in foster care for 15 years I carried out my first and only attempt to harm myself in a serious manner. Still... no clue what was going on. But that was the first sign of trouble. I remember times from the teen years of having low moods and no energy then having high moods and high energy. Most of the time I was mopey, but sometimes I would be up all night creating art. For me it was mostly the low end. Shortly after I had my first and only child around 18 years old I experienced a boost in the bipolar experience. Chalked it up to postpartum depression. Life went on for several years without a clue these cycles were happening. During periods of depression, on the outside looking in, I just seemed to be lazy, unmotivated, unkempt, and just over all seemed to be sad. As result, My affectionate nickname became “Eeyore”. Due to my lack of drive and luster for living life, my family and I made the decision to address the teen pregnancy issue with the solution of a family member adopting my child. While it was not an easy decision and I missed out on the opportunity to raise my own child and I missed her and it was HARD... I still think it was the best decision to make for her sake and it did turn out to be a wonderful life for her and we do have a great relationship with each other. But back then, even though no one knew yet that I was bipolar, it was clear that SOMETHING was off and everyone knew it enough to be supportive of such decisions. As the years went by the cycles became more frequent and grew with intensity. Fair warning... there will be a lot of TMI (too-much-information) in this ramble of writing. You will know more about me than you ever wanted to by the end of this. Theres depression, mania, psychosis, mixed episodes, etc. some experience these changes rapidly... some have periods of days or weeks of manic and depressive episodes. For others and for myself, Its MONTHS! Long periods of time in depression mode, And when mania hits I can expect it will last in the neighborhood of 4-6 months. And occasionally psychosis is the cherry on top. When Im depressed it doesnt mean Im crying all day. Thats what people expect it to look like but thats not what it is. I lose energy. I lose all sense of passion. Im just an empty shell with hardly enough energy to get out of bed, shower, perform any daily functions successfully. My eating habits resemble that of a starved prisoner upon their release. They can also be the exact opposite. My house is a mess. I dont want ANYONE around me for any reason. My social anxiety is maxed. I have a sex drive that is in the negative. Completely nonexistent. My head stays full of unpleasant thoughts and suicidal thoughts and I cant seem to find a single fuck to give about ANYTHING. Everything sucks! Including breathing and the sun just KEEPS disrespectfully coming up everyday. Then, slowly, things start to change. Its gradual so its hard to notice (most of the time. Sometimes its very abrupt. Hypomania is on the rise. I have more energy than before. I start to care a little more. My passion starts to come back a little bit. I start to step back into my empty shell as if my soul had stepped out for a break and its climbing back into my body. The suicidal thoughts are less frequent. My sex drive begins to awaken from its hibernation. The persistent unpleasant thoughts begin to lift. I begin to collect a few fucks to give. Life sucks less, breathing gets easier, and I tend to start making it a point to get up and watch and enjoy the sunrise. Proper grooming habits take hold. I can get out of bed. My food intake dwindles to maybe once a day in the evening. Ive cleaned up my house to a livable condition. This is usually when I get the gumption to start living life, start a job or a relationship, reconnect with friends I havent seen for a while, etc. Hypomania is a very welcome state of mind, at nsidering the much needed break from the depression phase. Its not necessarily too out of control its more like a refreshing zest for life. Kind of like how a person feels when they start coming back to a healthy state following a horrible bout with the flu. THEN! Look Out! Hypomania is taking flight and Mania is right around the corner. I start slipping. The energy level is as if somehow someone managed to extract the abundance of energy from a thousand kindergarten classes full of children that had cake, ice cream and a monster energy drink for breakfast with a side of cocaine. Then bottled up that energy and slipped it into my coffee while I wasnt looking, accidentally using the whole bottle rather than the recommended dose. I get an average of maybe 5 hours of sleep per week and when I do sleep I bounce out of bed as if Id been magically overdosed with the above potion 30 minutes prior to waking up. In addition to this my appetite took a trip to the moon and eating is somehow not a requirement to maintain the human condition anymore. My house looks like a museum and could pass a white glove inspection at any given moment. The passion is through the roof! The inspiration to create artistically is equivalent to the legends of musical history and it is all consuming and effortlessly attainable. The once empty shell is now overflowing with an exuberant personality that is charming and infectious. Those two words would never be used to describe me in any other state of mind. My thoughts are racing surprisingly faster than they are spilling out of my mouth in rapid speeds of speech making perfect sense to me but not so much to the people Im talking to. My sex drive is in overdrive. A level of overdrive that does not exist outside of mania for anyone on the planet. Its not just an all consuming thought. It comes with a very physical feeling. A physical, sexual, invasive, non-stop, completely unsatisfiable pulsation in the nether regions resulting in extreme measures to attempt get the pulse to subside. to no avail. Even if I had a sex addict for a partner in life that could come close to keeping up with that sex drive, to satisfy this obscenely intrusive sex drive we would need to quit our day jobs, stock up like a blizzard is coming, hire outside help, and do nothing but you-know-what 22 hours a day stopping occasionally for a cigarette and bathroom break. If I happen to be in a relationship at the time... the only person in that scenario that could inhumanly keep up with this level of drive is the bipolar one. The other person? God help ‘em. The only way this could work out is if my partner was a vagina whisperer with exceptional skills to bring a woman to orgasm (as its damn near impossible to reach one) with a healthy dose of sex addiction and a stock pile of ecstasy thats been preserved since the 90s, and a clear schedule for the next six months. Truth is though... if I have a boyfriend when mania hits Im most likely to end the relationship either due to negativity between us or the likely situation that I will end up cheating on them during hyper sexuality phase so I need to let them go before that could happen. In no other state of mind does cheating even cross my mind and the sexual interactions I would end up having would have NOTHING to do with love or feelings or even attraction. The unpleasant thoughts no longer exist. In fact, Im allergic now. To my own and others negativity. If a single unpleasant thought or statement were to fly into my bubble it would be immediately squished like a bug thats carrying the plague without a single ounce of reserve. (This is not conducive to relationships or a work environment or really even the general public at all. Along with the zero tolerance of negativity policy there is also a defect in the filter between the brain and the mouth and usually what comes out of my mouth is not the kind of thing anyone would ever think someone would say to them and its usually not a thing I ever thought I would say out loud even if I was thinking it. It might not necessarily be a BAD thing to say, and its usually a statement of fact or truth that the average normal person would think but not say but its certainly unexpected 9 times out of 10! Then again, its usually simply stating irrefutable facts, so... in the end, its an awkward situation to say the least. Even if its delivered in a nice and loving way and I might think it is, but Im usually wrong about that, it doesnt come out of my mouth the same way it went through my mind. This can leave people in my wake with some hurt feelings. The stockpile of fucks to give has accumulated by the time of mania to a point where I would need trucks to move ‘em and storage units to hold them. With all these fucks to give I might have enough to write that ONE song that saves the world. NOTHING SUCKS! Not even if its really REALLY supposed to. If I got fired because I sent all the customers to the store next door for cheaper and better products than the ones they could buy from my store because my brain/mouth filter is broken and I cant help but to tell them the truth. THATS OK! I dont need money! Or a house... or food... or anything else for that matter! Dog died? DAD DIED! Cat ran away? Ok, I can see the scene unfolding, but processing it or feeling it isnt going to happen right now. And NO ONE can figure out WHY THE FUCK IM SMILING! Theres no SMILING in THE FIRST STAGE OF GRIEF. Dont I know the RULES! The answer is no. No, I do not. My brain is not capable in this stage of mania. My friends and loved ones wear out pretty quickly trying to keep up with me so I acquire more friends to make up for the difference. These people often times do not represent my finest judgments. Breathing becomes more of an intoxicating activity than its been in recent times. With every breath you take the higher you get. And the sun coming up in the morning becomes blissful. As if witnessing it is the closest thing to god. Maybe it is GOD. Maybe other people would feel that way, somewhat, about it too... but this manic thing is just far too much more intense to be able to describe it to someone that is not me living with my bipolar snowflake. My future depressed self has to pay the price and deal with the ramifications and consequences of the actions and situations that my manic self created. Usually Im just outside of the honeymoon phase of my new found love interest that has an extremely high sex drive (meeting my manic qualifications. while my sex drive is wilting and dying. so will this relationship that was built solely around sexual gratification. Now that my sex drive is gone and theirs is not, its a recipe for disaster which feeds the depression phase. Then the process repeats itself. UNLESS! Psychosis comes into effect following that round of mania. THEN the process repeats itself after that comes and goes. Psychosis. To explain this would be like trying to explain the meaning of life, where we came from and why we are here and what love is. Then again, during psychosis I may very well discover the answers to those questions. Its a complete and total loss of reality. At this point Im a danger to myself and others. Im usually unsupervised and I can go preT-Ty far out there before I come across someone that knows me well enough to know that I need to be dropped off at the local psych ward. Its AMAZING Ive survived myself so far. I repeatedly put myself into situations I could have easily not walked out of or even found my way back out if I was still alive and walking. Ive almost disappeared into the wilderness with zero planning or intentions to return. Ive been caught up in my delusions so much so that they could have easily lead me into fatal situations of my own misjudgment... due to psychosis. Throughout all of this. Im doing my very best to not appear as if any of it is going on. Blend in with society. Hide it from loved ones. Play my part in the movie. What this disease takes out of a person could very likely result in a shortened lifespan. This fluctuating state of mind wreaks havoc on the body and brings it down much faster than a body should naturally wear out. There are also periods of time in between these cycles of a normal state. I dont know anything about that though. I dont know where it falls in the cycle, and I dont know what it looks like. The lines are too blurry. I must not spend much time there. Who am I? So thats pretty much the gist of it. Im doing the best I can with it. I hope this post might help others learn from it and people that suffer from it might possibly see themselves in these words and get help sooner and the people that are in our lives may have more of an understanding of whats going on “under the hood” and might be able to help us navigate through and also not take our actions personally. I never intended to be this way or make anyone feel hurt by my words or actions. If I have done you wrong in the process I truly apologize. Good luck to all those people out there suffering from bipolar disorder. Its an interesting web we weave to say the least. Try not to get caught up in it. Easier said than done. 10-4. ~LLM 1/5/2020.

Here's some back story on me: TRIGGER WARNING For a few months between the ages of 19 and 20 I had been drugged and sexually assaulted by my first ever boyfriend. Before the assault started I was on different medications and being bounced back and forth to different treatments for my anxiety and allergies. These medications would mess with my head and body in ways that I can't describe and I thank God I'm finally on a good regimen. Anyway, during this time I met a guy and thought I had fallen in love. He was super supportive and cared for me when i had bad reactions. He was in pharmacy school so when he'd ask about which medications I was on I just thought his intentions were good. They weren't. We were practically living together at his mom's place. She was gone most of the time due to work so we were alone alot. I didnt know it but whild he cooked for me (I have weird food allergies so we have separate dishes) he would dose me with different medications or other things stolen from his job at a hospital that would make me sleepy or disoriented and take advantage of me. I thought these were side effects so when I'd switch to a different medication, he'd adapt accordingly. I would wake up bleeding from my genitals sometimes after a nap but some of the medicines did mess with my cycle which was already painful and erratic so I thought it was that. I was a virgin btw. It all culminated in a horrifying night when I had finally had enough of being exhausted in the middle of the day and skipped my meds and just happened to not have eaten anything yet. I had never felt better. My bf came home and saw me lucid for once. We had a fight over meds and other stuff (our first fight) and he dragged me to his room and raped me with an object. During it he laughed like Jack Nicholson from the Shining and bragged that he'd been doisng me with stuff and told me I was more fun when I was awake. I had passed out from pain and him hitting me. I woke up at my parents house. Since I didnt drive due to my medical issues, i asked my mom to take me to the doctor. I had been scrubbed clean of any evidence except for internal scarring. I was told I could have easily bled out if my rapist hadn't been careful. But it looked like rough sex with an extreme sex toy. Fast forward to 1. 5 yrs later. While I was unconcious, my ex had convinced everyone that I was a jilted ex because he had texted me he had been cheating on me with a friend of mine and we got into a fight where I apparently bit him (during the assault. He also used my phone to message my friends that I wanted to kill him and that I was distraught and angry after a night if arguing and rough sex. I spent months trying to press charges and since we live in the deep south and this was in the middle of the Cosby trials people saw me as a copycat and jilted ex lover. So needless to say, I was left with nothing. I was even threatened by his friends and family out of getting a restraining order. Only my friends and parents believed me. Over the next year or so I was going to counciling due to PTSD preventing me from getting a job where men were around and started to self harm everytime I so much as got a teeny bit turned on by someone attractive. I felt guilty that I wasn't aware of my body or surroundings before and I was sure I'd never be able to date again. My therapist told me I had to regain control of my sexuality and move past my trauma so it doesn't take over my life. Enter NiceGuy. My therapist recommended I try to date friends or just go out. She didn't encourage sex, just said I needed to feel like I had control over my life and socialize. I agreed and my friend and I made an account on Tinder. I'm autistic (hence, hella socially awkward) and since the assault I figured online interactions would be easier. I regret it. I was bombarded with dick pics and other triggering things until I met a guy I'll call, NG. NG was handsome and kind. He would text me about what we both were interested in (anime, engineering, etc. and seemed pretty genuine. We talked everyday for a month or so before agreeing to meet at a football game at the local university I attended. I had made it clear I wasn't interested in sex, especially on the first date. My friends would be there just in case I had a panick attack or if he tried something funny. I didn't tell him they would be there though. I met him in the stands with my group of friends sitting a row or two behind us, not bringing attention to themselves. During the game we talked and joked and he was actually a gentleman. He went to get me food and even tried to catch me a tshirt. When I went downstairs to the bathroom I bumped into my old band director (M. M was a young guy, cute and very sweet. He had moved to our small town to teach and attend college. My mom was one of the band mothers. She's like a stereotypical older black mama, strict but will feed you and go out of her way to make you feel like one of her own. We began to chat and he asked about my mom since he had considered her his other mother. I began talking about her, totally forgetting NG was upstairs wondering where i was. I was gone maybe 10 minutes before I realized NG was waiting. I left M, apologizing and said I was on a date and didn't want to keep being rude. Turns out NG had been downstairs buying pizza and saw me talking to M. When I got back to the stands he was miffed. "Who was that guy. Oh, him? He used to be my band director. He's cool. I know its awkward but I didn't know you were watching us lols. You should have said something. Then he asked if I wanted to get out of there. "What? No. I want to see the band perform. Well you're a student here. You got in for free. I had to pay 11 bucks for a ticket not to mention this expensive shitty pizza. What does that have to do with me wanting to stay? If anything that would make me want to stay more since I don't want you to waste your money. Good point. It's just my brother's here and he has jello shots in the parking lot. They're really good. Want some. Ummm I guess so. We went downstairs, texting my friends in the bleachers I'd be back. NG turned and said, actually I knew your friends were there and I really wanted to kiss you. I wasn't prepared for that and I said "only on the cheek for now. A lady doesn't kiss on the first date. I laughed as he did it just trying to stay calm as I had become suddenly anxious when he tried to kiss me. He wasn't aware of my trauma and I wasn't about to divulge the whole thing right there by the concession stands so I just tried to stay calm. "You're quivering sweetie" NG said. "Hold on, I'll get us the shots. You stay here, ok. Ok. He was gone for about 10 minutes when I had decided to sit by a pillar near the stands. After about 20 more minutes I texted him if everything was ok. "Yeah. My brother started a fight with some huge asshole at the tailgate and security came over" Unfortunately in our town that's not uncommon, especially at football games. "Oh God! You guys ok. Yeah, I managed to pull the dude off of my brother but I'm going to the station to try to get him out. It was crazy. He began to describe some epic tale staring NG, his brother (who I'd never seen and doubt exists) and a large Thor-like behemoth. At this point I was suspicious. I can't judge anyone's strength by their appearance but he was a skinny dude, barely any muscle. He was one of those stereotypical skinny surfer dude or hippie types you'd see in movies from the 70s. I could beat him up and easily get him off of me which is one of the reasons why I liked him. If he tried something, I thought I'd have a decent chance of defending myself. I went back to the stands and realized I had been ditched. I was talking to my friends for almost half an hour when I got a text saying, Hey, come down, I'm back! Let me make it up to you. I was skeptical but at this point I was disappointed and wanted food that wasn't overpriced and shitty so I went down. He called me and told me where he was. He was at his truck next to my car in the parking lot across the street from the stadium. Across 5 lanes of traffic. I was used to crossing it because Ive had to park there in the past but it was late at night and dark as fuck. I told him to keep talking to me as I walked back in case I come across any more drunk Thors. Lo and behold by the time I reached my car, he was nowhere to be seen. "Dude, what the actual fuck. He hung up and texted me: Sorry. I should have stayed to walk you to your car like a gentleman but since you only let me kiss you on the cheek I figured I had spent enough on you. Dinner was out of the question and so was anal. Anal. I tried calling him to ask him this and he hung up on me again. He continued: Yeah you seemed more into M than me honestly and I didn't want to get in the way of whatever that is. I only matched with you because you're nerdy and cute but in person you have a nice ass so I figured we'd have anal in the back of my truck but your car would have been better actually. Anyways if you're not down for that I'm out. I'm sorry. You're nice but I need the real deal. Idk what he meant but after that I was fuming. I texted my friends I was going home and proceeded to get in my car and broke down. I texted him that he wasn't a real man and how dare he assume that if I wasn't down for sex why the fuck would I be down for anal in my fucking car? He then went into detail about what he wanted to do that night and how good he could've made me feel. This only resulted in me having flashbacks and hyperventilate. I couldn't take it anymore and told him I had been raped the year before. His flaky chode was not the miracle cure for my trauma. He said I clearly had issues and my "pussy (was) probably haunted. I wanted to bleach my body after that. I had a good cry, sent my friends the screenshots and went home to shower. I didn't date for another year after that but I'm currently having less issues regarding PTSD and I'm no longer on Tinder. TLDR: Assault victim trying to regain her confidence and sexuality gets tricked, ditched and teased by a NiceGuy who only wanted anal. Never again.

My Boyfriend's Meds Movie Watch dual audio HD writed by Diego Kaplan

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